The following are 40 questions designed to assess whether a parent may be engaging in behaviors consistent with parental alienation. These questions aim to explore patterns of communication, influence, and interactions that could contribute to alienating a child from the other parent. These questions should be used carefully, as allegations of parental alienation are complex and require professional investigation. These are for educational purposes only.
Parent’s Perception of the Co-Parent
1. How would you describe your relationship with the other parent?
2. Do you trust the other parent to make good decisions for the child?
3. Do you believe the other parent is capable of meeting the child’s emotional and physical needs?
4. Have you ever expressed concerns about the other parent’s ability to parent?
5. Do you think your child is safer or better off with you than with the other parent?
Comments About the Co-Parent
6. Have you ever spoken negatively about the other parent in front of the child?
7. Do you feel it is important for your child to know about conflicts or disagreements between you and the other parent?
8. Do you discuss court proceedings or legal matters with your child?
9. Have you ever told your child details about why the relationship with the other parent ended?
10. Do you believe it is harmful for your child to spend time with the other parent?
Interference with the Child’s Relationship with the Other Parent
11. Do you encourage your child to spend time with the other parent?
12. Have you ever canceled or delayed visitation with the other parent without a clear reason?
13. Do you think your child should have a say in whether they visit the other parent?
14. Have you ever told your child they don’t have to go to the other parent’s house if they don’t want to?
15. Have you ever made plans for your child during the other parent’s scheduled visitation time?
16. Do you monitor or restrict your child’s communication with the other parent?
Involvement in the Child’s Feelings Toward the Other Parent
17. Has your child ever told you they don’t want to see the other parent? If so, how did you respond?
18. Do you believe your child’s negative feelings about the other parent are justified?
19. Have you ever discussed the other parent’s mistakes or shortcomings with your child?
20. Have you encouraged your child to confront the other parent about grievances?
21. Have you ever told your child they don’t need to listen to or respect the other parent?
Encouraging Loyalty or Division
22. Do you feel your child should be loyal to you over the other parent?
23. Have you ever asked your child to keep secrets from the other parent?
24. Have you asked your child to report what happens in the other parent’s home?
25. Have you told your child about arguments or disputes with the other parent?
26. Do you believe it’s important for your child to understand how the other parent has hurt you?
Behavior During Transitions and Visitation
27. Do you feel sad, angry, or anxious when your child goes to visit the other parent?
28. How do you act when your child returns from the other parent’s house?
29. Have you ever told your child you miss them or feel lonely when they are with the other parent?
30. Have you ever delayed or made it difficult for the child to transition to the other parent’s home?
Control Over Communication
31. Do you limit or supervise your child’s calls or texts with the other parent?
32. Have you ever told your child they don’t need to respond to the other parent’s messages?
33. Have you blocked the other parent from contacting the child directly?
34. Have you ever told the other parent not to attend the child’s school or extracurricular activities?
Use of Authority and Manipulation
35. Have you ever told your child that the other parent doesn’t love them or care for them?
36. Have you encouraged your child to choose sides in conflicts?
37. Do you feel the other parent deserves to be a part of the child’s life?
38. Have you ever used rewards or punishments to influence your child’s behavior toward the other parent?
Impact on the Child
39. Do you think your child feels pressure to choose between you and the other parent?
40. How do you think your actions and words about the other parent influence your child’s feelings?
Key Observations:
The answers to these questions should be reviewed by a qualified mental health or legal professional who understands the complexities of parental alienation. It’s critical to distinguish between intentional alienation and other factors, such as safety concerns, that might influence a parent’s behavior.
Disclaimer: This advice cannot be considered legal advice and is for educational purposes only. For legal advice, consult a qualified attorney.
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