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My child says that the expert, her counselor and the guardian have said negative things about me. How is that detrimental to our relationship and what should I do about it?


When a child reports that professionals like counselors, experts, or guardians have said negative things about you, it can be highly detrimental to your relationship with your child for several reasons:


### Reasons it's Detrimental:


1. Undermining Trust: Negative comments from trusted professionals can erode the trust your child has in you, damaging your relationship and making it harder to communicate effectively.

2. Shifting Allegiance: Your child may feel pressured to align with the opinions of these authority figures, leading them to distance themselves from you in an attempt to please others.


3. Emotional Impact: Hearing negative remarks about a parent can cause emotional distress and confusion for a child, impacting their view of themselves and their family dynamics.


4. Parental Alienation: Such negative reinforcement can be used as a tool for parental alienation, further driving a wedge between you and your child.


### What you can do:


1. Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue with your child to discuss their feelings and concerns regarding the negative comments. Reassure them of your love and commitment to their well-being.

2. Seek Clarification: If possible, communicate with the professionals directly to understand the context of the negative remarks and address any misunderstandings or miscommunication.

3. Collaborate with Professionals: Work together with the counselor or guardian ad litem to ensure that the focus remains on the child's best interests and that your relationship with your child is not compromised by biased opinions.

4. Document and Advocate: Keep detailed records of interactions and conversations to support your position and advocate for fair treatment in legal proceedings or custody arrangements.

5. Therapeutic Support: Consider family therapy or counseling to navigate these challenges and rebuild trust and communication within your family unit.


It's essential to approach this situation with empathy, patience, and a focus on your child's well-being. By addressing the issues openly and proactively, you can work towards rebuilding trust and strengthening your relationship with your child despite the negative influences they may have encountered.

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