Regret is a heavy burden to carry. It lingers in the quiet moments, in the “what ifs” and the “if onlys,” reminding us of time that can never be reclaimed.
I know this feeling all too well.
I recently met my brother for the first time, a man I should have known my entire life but didn’t. Over the past few weeks, we’ve talked daily, met in person three times, and found we have so much in common shared interests, shared humor, shared blood. He even brought his friends to meet me, guys who knew our dad. They told me stories, memories I should have grown up hearing. But I didn’t. Because I never got the chance.
I didn’t try to find them sooner. I didn’t push harder for the truth. And now, I live with the regret of not knowing them, of not knowing him, while I had the chance.
But this isn’t just about me. This is what parental alienation does. It steals time, memories, and relationships, not just between parents and children, but between entire families. It forces children into a false reality, one where they believe an entire side of their family never cared, never tried, or never existed at all.
And by the time they learn the truth, it’s too late.
Parental alienation is a crime of time, it robs children of their right to love both parents, to know their family, and to experience the truth firsthand.
When a parent deliberately erases the other, they aren’t just taking away a father or a mother. They are taking away, Grandparents who wanted to spoil them. Aunts and uncles who would have been their biggest cheerleaders. Cousins they could have grown up with. Siblings they never got the chance to bond with.
I now know what I was missing, but how many alienated children won’t realize it until it’s too late? How many of them will wake up one day, full of regret, only to find out their other parent is gone forever?
I think about my dad a lot these days. I never got to know him. Not because he didn’t want me, not because he was a bad man, but because my mother never told him I existed.
Now, I hear stories about him secondhand, through my brother and his friends. I should have been in those stories. I should have had my own memories, my own experiences, my own connection with the man who helped create me.
I regret not pushing harder, not demanding answers, not searching sooner. But how could I have? I didn’t even know what I was missing. I was kept in the dark. And that’s exactly how parental alienation works, it ensures that the child never knows what are losing until it’s too late to get it back.
I was too late for my father. But I wasn’t too late for my brother. Alienated children still have a chance to know the truth before they live with the same regrets I have.
For those who still believe parental alienation isn’t real, I urge you to think about this:
• If an abused child can still love and want their abuser, why wouldn’t a child love and want the parent they were forced to hate?
• If alienation isn’t real, then why do so many alienated adults reunite with their erased parent, only to find they lost years of love for no reason?
• Why do alienated parents hold onto hope, decades later, just waiting for the day their child will come back?
Parental alienation isn’t just a custody issue, it’s a lifelong wound that many don’t even recognize until it’s too late to fix it.
We need to stop this cycle before more children wake up with the same regrets I have. Before more parents die waiting for a child they love but are forbidden from seeing. Before more siblings grow up as strangers, only to find each other decades later, wishing they had met sooner.
If you are an alienated parent, don’t stop fighting. Even if they aren’t ready to listen now, one day, they will want the truth. And when that day comes, they will need to hear your voice, not just the lies they were told.
If you are an alienated child, question everything. You may think you know why your other parent isn’t around, but what if what you’ve been told isn’t true? One day, you might wake up and realize you lost a whole family who loved you, simply because you were kept from them.
Parental alienation thrives on time, silence, and deception. But the truth has a way of finding its way through. Don’t let regret be the only thing left when it does.
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